cease and desist

on saturday i was talking to a friend who is in aa. we were sitting down for lunch, both of us starving. he told me it was a good thing he was eating because he was starting to get cranky and edgy. then he smiled and said “hungry. angry. lonely. tired….halt”. i thought about this for a second and told him that made a lot of sense. he repeated: “Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired….HALT”. again i told him what amazingly simple and sensible advice this is. about 24 hours later i realized it is also an acronym. luckily the overall concept is easy for me to grasp, even if the catchy presentation is not.

i understand how important this advice is for someone staying sober. any of those four conditions seem like prime excuses to take a drink in order to alleviate the feelings the conditions create. but i also started thinking what great advice it is for everyone, period. i am certainly prone to all kinds of unpleasant behavior when i’m hungry or angry (and it’s usually both, one after the other) and the solution is simple: eat. i’m also prone to unpleasant and destructive behavior when lonely – usually mental cruelty, all directed at myself. i’m hardly ever aware of it as it happens, and after all these years i am still amazed how much better i feel when i pick up the phone and call someone – often i don’t even realize how lonely and isolated i’ve been until i make human contact again. the tired part is the thing that creeps up on me and is hardest to detect. i always think i can keep going and going and only after i find myself in an emotional frazzle do i realize i’m exhausted. 

until now. regardless of what kind of self-destructive behavior you favor, this simple phrase can work preventive miracles. thanks to the catchy acronym ‘halt’, i’ll be so much more aware of whats going on in my head and why. as long as its hungry, angry, lonely or tired. if its something else, i’m back to square one. but this is a good, solid start.